I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
