1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
