Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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