I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
