Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
