Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
