I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We talked him into tasing himself.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize