yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
