So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
