Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Randomize
