Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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