If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
