whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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