I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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