Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
