Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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