she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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