Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
