is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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