You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
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