I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
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