Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
