ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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