I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
