I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
