What did we do last night that was yellow?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize