Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
