Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
