chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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