i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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