i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Gay?
German.
Pity.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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