Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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