She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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