I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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