Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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