I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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