It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
