They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
