Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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