I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i out mim tonsoeep
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