i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
