You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
