i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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