ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
