doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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