Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Randomize
