god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
