My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
