She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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