I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
