I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize