Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
