Who wears a wallet chain?!
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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