I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
