I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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