They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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